Why Self-Care is Better for You Than Self-Discipline

Have you ever struggled with the self-discipline it takes to create the happiness and success you desire?

Why is that?

I have a theory about why self-discipline is so challenging and it’s related to the conditioning and beliefs we’ve developed as a culture around what the word “self-discipline” actually means.

Consider for a moment the following definition of the word “self-discipline”:

self-discipline – n. discipline and training of oneself, usually for improvement

Typically, the words “discipline” and “training” tend to be more masculine in nature, which means any action taken is going to require focus, attention, effort and maybe even some good old “hard work”. For some, it may also mean that it will feel more like something that “has” to be done (i.e. obligation) vs. something that “wants” to be done (i.e. desire).

When trying to create change in your life, do these qualities sound like a “joyful or fun” experience to you?

From a mindset perspective, not really.

So why is self-care better for you than self-discipline…?

In a nutshell, here’s why. First, consider now the definition of the word “self-care”:

self-care – n. care of the self without medical or other professional consultation

Don’t you agree that “care of the self” tends to sound more loving and nurturing in nature?

Of course it does!

And although there may still be self-discipline and effort involved in learning how to “care for yourself” on your own, consider how empowering it is to overcome obstacles that hold you back without the help from outside sources! Not only that, but “self-care” comes from a place of desire vs. obligation, which means the energy that drives your actions will be much more feminine in nature (i.e. loving, gentle, nurturing, and desiring).

So when it comes time to create change in your life would you rather create from a place of self-discipline or self-care? 🙂

For me, I’ve found that choosing “self-care” rituals to create what I desire in life feels like less effort, is far more enjoyable, and way more effective than creating actions based on “self-discipline”.


Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to love their self, health, & life through radical self-love, radiant self-care, & empowered self-mastery!

Are you ready to be your very own hero?

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