The 7 Fears That Sabotage Your Life

Do YOU ever struggle with panic or fear?

I’m not talking about the kind of fear that kicks in when your life is in danger but rather, the kind of fear that comes from your thoughts, your beliefs, and the conditioning you’ve received over the years?

I know I have!

PANICSadly, I was oblivious to this fact for the first 35 years of life and I unintentionally let fear drive many of actions, words, and thoughts. In fact, I believe it played a part in the chronic pain I experienced for well over 10 years!

Several years ago, as part of my Journey accreditation program,  I attended a week-long, silent, healing retreat to identify and release the ego fixations that held me back. It was there that I clearly realized for the first time ever that my biggest ego fixation was fear around safety and security.

Once I learned this about myself, it WOKE me up!

For the first time, I saw clearly how this pattern had been showing up and running (and ruining) most of my life in the form of anxiety, doubt, worry, and second-guessing of anything that might affect my safety and security.

This revelation was enlightening AND at the same time, terrifying.

Why? Because I realized in that moment that it was MY dis-empowering thoughts, beliefs, and conditioning that had been dictating my emotional reactions (AND my reality) for so long!

In a flash I realized I could no longer play the victim card and blame others for my unhappiness. In order to transform that fear, I had to take control of my life and make a commitment to my personal growth and evolution.

As a result of that commitment, I’ve learned a lot about fear!

Since that unconscious time in my life, I’ve learned the various types of fear AND I’ve learned how to to embrace, learn from, and be-friend my own fears.  🙂

And although I still have moments where anxiety, doubt, worry, and second-guessing come up, I can now more easily recognize & release those fears. I’ve also become more skilled and adept at transforming fear into an empowering reaction and feelings of trust, faith, courage, and security.

So what are the fears that hold YOU back? 🙂

One of my favorite authors, Napoleon Hill, believed that the 7 basic fears in life are as follows:

  1. Fear of poverty
  2. Fear of criticism (or rejection)
  3. Fear of ill health
  4. Fear of loss of love (or abandonment)
  5. Fear of the loss of liberty (or freedom)
  6. Fear of old age
  7. Fear of death

So how can awareness of these fears be of benefit to YOU personally?

Well, let’s find out!

For each of the above fears, do the following:

  1. Write down all the life scenarios where this fear played itself out for you.
  2. Review the scenarios and answer the following question… what has this fear COST you?
  3. Review the scenarios again and answer the following question… what are the benefits you’ll receive if you could release your attachment to this fear?

My guess is that your answers to the above questions will enlighten you! Not only that but they’ll provide you with awareness of what you want AND don’t want so that you have a clearer vision of where you’re going and what’s stopping you.

So, whenever these fears arise going forward, simply put in place the following:

  1. Identify what’s driving the fear.
  2. Briefly feel & experience the fear fully.
  3. Re-direct & focus your attention on the benefits of what you REALLY desire.
  4. Take ONE small action or step toward what you REALLY desire until it shifts your energy & lifts your spirits.

With enough practice and persistence, it will become easier over time to release the fear itself and re-focus your attention to what you REALLY desire! It could even help you handle other dis-empowering emotions with more ease and grace. 🙂

Give this a shot, en-JOY the journey, & report back to me with your progress!

Are You Ready to Break Free From Burnout?

Does your busy, high-reaching life zap your energy & leave you running on empty & burned out more often than not?

Are you struggling with chronic stress & overwhelm trying to cope with life & juggle it all?

OR… maybe you’re just sick & tired of dealing with the unresolved saboteurs that sabotage your greatness & lead to discontent & unhappiness in life!

The good news?

I can teach you how to rescue yourself & become your very own hero. 🙂

First of all, I want you to know that I’ve been where you are!

Having experienced burnout as a result of unresolved saboteurs during my time in the corporate world AND as an entrepreneur, I know exactly what it feels like to struggle with feelings of stress, overwhelm, unhappiness, & exhaustion! 

You see, there was a time (not so very long ago!) when I struggled with low confidence, irrational fears, deep-seated feelings of unhappiness, anger management issues, anxiety, depression, disabling physical back pain & even weight gain.

All of this came crashing down on me in October 2005 as a result of what I thought then was a result of my high-stress, high-achieving corporate career!

I was making great money, had great friends & was married to the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with but for some reason I was at an all-time LOW in my life & falling apart at the seams.

One night, while sobbing miserably after a friendship crumbled due to my toxic unhappiness, I realized that it was ME that was my own worst enemy!

My toxic thoughts, my unhealthy behaviors, my lack of responsibility, my inability to take care of myself physically, the deadly emotions that were poisoning my life, etc…

While sobbing in my husband’s lap, the light went on that in order for me to heal I would need to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for changing my life, once & for all.

In that moment, I made a solemn vow to my husband that I was going to change NO MATTER WHAT it took. 

From that moment on, I became deeply committed to bringing myself back to a place of happiness, health & wholeness!

AND as you can imagine, it didn’t all just go away over night. It required patience, perseverance, & practice!

Since 2005, I’ve had to go back & heal several different layers of my physical, mental, & emotional health more than once, despite the complete makeover I’ve gone through since I left the corporate world to become a heart-centered coach, author, & professional speaker.

It took time to get into healthier habits & even after being on my journey back to wholeness since 2005, I still have to be deliberate & intentional with how I manage myself, my health, & my life.

The good news? I’ve been through it all & learned a LOT along the way about how to be more effective and resilient in both my life AND my career. 🙂

AND, as a result of my success in overcoming the unconscious programming, unhealed trauma & unhealthy emotions that were the root cause of my burnout, I’ve dedicated my life to teaching other high-reaching women & leaders how to find their way back to being happiness, health, & wholeness!

When you work with me, we will work together to help you learn how to:

  • Break free of the saboteurs that lead to burnout by resolving at the root cellular level whatever causes you to sacrifice your soul, sanity, & health!
  • Eliminate & prevent the burnout that stresses you out, destroys your focus, & zaps your energy!
  • Recondition yourself for greatness so that you can elevate your life, rescue yourself & become your very own hero!

Is Burnout Affecting You?

Sadly, burnout is quickly becoming an epidemic among ambitious, high-reaching women & leaders as the pressure & compulsion to over-work, over-give, & over-achieve mounts.

Although burnout often begins with feelings of exhaustion, stress, overwhelm, or unhappiness, left unaddressed it can easily lead to chronic health problems such as depression, anxiety, body aches & pain, digestive disorders, organ dysfunction, tumors, cancer, & many other forms of physical dis-ease!

Does any of the following apply to you?

  • You battle internally with toxic thoughts, fears & insecurities that dis-empower you!
  • You often feel stressed, anxious & overwhelmed by all that you have to do!
  • You over-give, over-work, or over-achieve to the point of self-sacrifice!
  • You are easily distracted & find it difficult to focus your attention!
  • You feel burned out & exhausted from striving to get everything done just “right”!
  • You have unresolved health issues, pain, or illness that just won’t go away!
  • You feel angry, pissed off & triggered more often than you would like!
  • You feel out of balance & deeply challenged by setbacks & mistakes!
  • You’re hard on yourself & others to the point of self-sabotage!
  • You doubt your greatness despite having powerful gifts to share with the world!
  • You feel misunderstood or unappreciated by people in your life!
  • You feel alone & unsupported with all that you have to do!
  • You battle with sadness or depression that leaves you feeling miserable more often than not!
  • You struggle with bitterness & resentment because there’s not enough time to take care of YOU!
  • You’re dealing with trauma from the past that affects & haunts you in the present!
  • You feel a deep-seated lack of fulfillment that sucks the radiance right out of your soul!

If any of the above applies, it might be time to face the fact that YOU might be struggling with BURNOUT. 

Are you in need of a burnout rescue?

Can I be honest with you? Here’s the deal, dear one.

If you’ve been moving through life in a way that feels limited, drains your energy & requires FAR too much effort, you need to face the fact that YOU are responsible for your life.

In order to break free of burnout & the saboteurs that lead to burnout, YOU will need to rescue yourself & become your very own hero!

Imagine…

What would it be like if you could not only understand but truly address the root cause (vs. the symptoms) of any saboteur holding you back?

And what would it be like if you could feel more relaxed, healthy, & joyful about life instead of living with pain, stress and unhappiness?

Would you like to be your very own hero so you can more easily elevate the lives of others without all the sacrifice?

The Problem

At first glance, you might think that burnout happens because of a build-up of stress, challenges, or unexpected life events.

In reality, these are just catalysts that add fuel to the fire!

The real culprit & root cause of burnout has more to do with the unconscious programming, unhealed trauma & unhealthy emotions that lead us to over-work, over-achieve, & over-give to the point of stress, overwhelm, unhappiness, or exhaustion in our lives.

If left unaddressed or unresolved, these saboteurs will cause us to sacrifice & neglect our soul, sanity, & health over & over & over again.

Combine that with an inability to overcome stress, handle your emotions or take care of yourself effectively & you ultimately have a recipe for both disaster AND dis-ease!

Sadly, most of us aren’t even conscious or aware of the saboteurs that sabotage our life!

And guess what? You can’t fix a problem if you don’t know about it, right?

The Solution

Again, I want you to imagine what it would be like if you knew how to…

  • Break free of the saboteurs that limit your greatness!
  • Maintain & restore your energy as needed!
  • Calm & soothe stress in your business & your life!
  • Prevent & eliminate overwhelm as it arises!
  • Heal old wounds & suffering by addressing the root cause of any saboteur or limitation holding you back!
  • Resolve ongoing health concerns that limit your greatness!
  • Experience radical forgiveness of the past, yourself, AND others!
  • Re-train your body, mind, & soul for greater harmony, health, & happiness!
  • Gain gratitude & wisdom from challenges, setbacks, & mistakes!
  • Connect to your deepest passions & desires for greatness!
  • Radically transform areas of life that need to be changed!
  • Re-ignite your hero essence in a loving, softer, more compassionate way!
  • Love, embrace & accept all parts of yourself!
  • Raise your vibration & frequency so you can manifest abundance with ease & grace!
  • Experience peace & harmony from the inside out!
  • Consciously communicate & connect with yourself & others!
  • Embody your truth with genuine confidence & authenticity!
  • Tap into the greater joy & juiciness that life has to offer!

It would be amazing, of course!

So what’s the solution to breaking free of burnout for life?

Put simply, you have to heal & resolve the saboteurs that sabotage your success & learn how to recondition yourself for greatness!

And, how do you do this?

Through radical self-discovery, radiant self-care, & embodied self-mastery.

Why is this the key to setting yourself free?

Because deeply understanding what drives you & taking care of YOU is the fundamental foundation required for you to rescue yourself & break free from burnout once & for all!

This is why when I work with my clients our focus is on learning a repeatable path to greatness that consists of the following 3 levels of competency:

  • Radical self-discovery to awaken your hero greatness from the INSIDE out!
  • Radiant self-care to empower you to reclaim your hero confidence & power!
  • Embodied self-mastery to enable you to step into & embody your hero greatness!

In other words, it’s about learning how to embody your greatness & live your life in a way that fuels & nourishes your body, mind, & spirit.

Only when you learn how to cope with stress, manage your emotions, & begin to take care of YOU will you get to experience FAR greater love, authenticity, faith, courage, joy, compassion, empathy, peace, harmony & forgiveness in your life… from the INSIDE out!

Are you ready to awaken the hero within?

Imagine once again…

You feel energized naturally by a life that’s filled with greater joy, ease, & grace!

You feel like harmony, health, & happiness is something worth fighting for!

You feel committed to becoming your authentic self!

And all of this is not because you are “broken” the way you are now but because you’ve learned how to love & accept ALL parts of you, your life, & your experiences.

Life can be SO rich & juicy when you know who you really are & can truly love yourself, your health, & your life! 🙂

Based on what I’ve been through personally & the amazing results I get with my clients every single day, I believe I have the tools & experience to teach you how to break free of the unresolved saboteurs that block you & recondition yourself for greatness.

AND, if any of what I’ve described here resonates or is something you deeply desire for yourself, I hope you say YES to one of the *COMPLIMENTARY* gifts that I’d like to offer you below. 🙂

My Gifts To You

GIFT #1: A Complimentary Self-Care Toolkit

To receive your complimentary Self-Care Toolkit, simply sign up to receive my Goddess Guidance Newsletter here on my website by entering your email & contact information in the column to the right.

Not only my Goddess Guidance Newsletter give you tidbits of wisdom & expertise to help you break free of sabotage & recondition yourself greatness, but you’ll also be kept in the loop on burnout recovery classes, workshops, immersions, & self-care retreats!

Included in the Self-Care Toolkit that you’ll receive the following valuable tools:

  • A Self-Care Assessment Wheel to give you clarity on how balanced (or unbalanced!) each area of your life might be & to determine what you really desire in each area so that you have a road map for self-care success!
  • A healing meditation for stress, overwhelm, & exhaustion to use whenever you need to calm your nerves, provide mental relief, or re-energize your body!
  • 108 Ways to Practice Self-Care  to give you ideas on ways to incorporate more self-care, self-renewal, self-mastery, & self-love into YOUR life!
  • 9 Ways to Say YES! to YOU!  to help you become a bad-ass at setting boundaries (in a way that honors ALL involved!) so that you can have more time for YOU!

GIFT #2: A *COMPLIMENTARY* Discovery Consult

If you’re ready to explore what becoming your very own hero looks like, the next step is to schedule a complimentary 60-minute Discovery Consult with me (where I can hear your story & share with you how I can best be of service).

To take advantage of this, you’ll need to complete an application & then you will be sent to my online scheduling system to find a time that’s right for you.

To get started, simply click on the button below:

I look forward to our connection! 🙂

In gratitude,

Jess Signature

JESS-0734Jess Bonasso

The Self Care Goddess

Burnout & Trauma Recovery Coach | Author | Speaker | Trainer

P.S. If you have questions prior to applying or scheduling, you can connect with Jess HERE.

P.P.S. I want you to know that I truly understand what it’s like to struggle creating a life that you really can LOVE! To learn more about my experience, challenges, & personal story of transformation, click HERE!

How to Create a “Health” Mindset

Have you ever wondered how to go about create a “health” mindset in your life?

For close to 10 years I suffered deeply from major low back pain, trying one thing after another to “fix the problem”.

In fact, I thought I was doing everything I could to address the physical symptoms I was experiencing – pain medication, chiropractic care, acupuncture, & massage therapy just to name a few.
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NONE of it made a difference.
In fact, if anything… it got worse!

WHY? Well, I believe it was because my focus of attention was on the following:

  1. fixing the problem vs. seeking a solution
  2. looking for someone who could fix me vs. fixing myself (i.e. taking ownership of & personal responsibility for my physical, mental, & emotional health)
  3. addressing symptoms vs. the root cause of the physical pain  
The truth is that back then I felt hopeless, punished & broken. The more hopeless, punished & broken I felt, the worse I felt! 🙁

Ultimately, this is what led to me having a “sickness” mindset that greatly exacerbated my physical health!

After MANY years of trying to fix the problem, looking for someone to fix me, & trying to address the symptoms I finally realized that my perspective & focus of attention was fixated on what I did NOT want.

It was then that I decided to start focusing on the solution, fixing myself, addressing the root cause of the problem & moving toward what I really wanted.

Upon doing this, I came up with some realizations (from this more open-minded, flexible place) that would lead me to what I really desired & here’s what I realized:

  • Instead of focusing on managing & eliminating pain, I realized I could focus on creating strength, flexibility & vitality in my body, mind, & spirit.
  • Instead of viewing this as a problem, I realized I could look at it as an opportunity to learn how to take care of & heal myself from the inside out.
  • Instead of feeling resentment over feeling punished, I realized I could feel gratitude for the health I did have & the power to change what wasn’t working.
  • Instead of feeling helpless & looking outside myself to be “fixed”, I realized I could commit to taking back control of my health.

AND, when I actually started to focus more often on all of the above, I felt better!

Additionally, this shift toward a more positive “health” mindset that allowed me to start taking positive steps in the right direction & also led to:

  • my mindset became more open-minded & flexible
  • my actions shifted in a positive direction
  • greater self-awareness
  • increased strength, flexibility, & vitality
  • higher wisdom & non-attachment
  • gratitude, joy, & happiness
  • MORE of what I really wanted!

And most importantly, a significant reduction of pain (mental, emotional AND physical!).

So… my challenge to YOU, Contact First Name, is to identify ONE aspect of your physical health or appearance that you would like to shift your perspective on.

Then, do the following exercise to shift your perspective & give you something to practice:

  1. Make a list of all the current beliefs (healthy or unhealthy!) you have about this aspect of your physical health.
  2. For any belief that is unhealthy or dis-empowering in any way, identify what you really desire in that area.
  3. Write a present-tense affirmation that represents the essence of that desire. For example: “My spine is crooked & degenerated” would become “I am creating a healthy, strong, flexible, & supple spine!”.
  4. For any belief that is healthy or empowering, write down the essence of that belief as a present-tense affirmation.
  5. Print this list & read each affirmation daily.  

As you review this list daily, over time you will start to experience a shift in your mindset. 

AND, because your focus of attention is on what you really want more often, you will likely find yourself taking small steps along the way that will lead you back to the sound physical health that you really desire. 🙂