How to Be Your Very Own Hero

Wonder WomanHave you ever felt stuck & unable to create the change, happiness, & success you desire?

Wouldn’t it be great if you had a simple & proven formula for success that allowed you to break free from barriers & become your very own hero?

Would that be of benefit to you? Of course it would. 🙂

By nature, humans are hard-wired to learn through the experiences we go through, whether those experiences are good or bad. Repetition & consistency of ANYTHING we are exposed to over time shapes our reactions & responses to life!

So what if you had a systematic, repeatable approach that allowed you to gain true mastery over yourself and accomplish anything you desire?

Believe it or not, creating change in your life CAN be systematic if you understand how humans gain confidence & self-mastery.

A couple of years ago, I was exposed for the first time to a concept that made me realize with certainty that I could literally accomplish ANYTHING I desire.

The concept I’m referring to is not a new concept, but it’s a large part of the systematic approach I take with myself and with clients to help them create real, lasting change in their life!

In a nutshell, the concept is simple – in order for us to master anything in life, there are levels of competency we must go through or attain to mastery.

These levels of competency are as follows:

  1. Unconscious Incompetence: Otherwise known as ignorance (i.e. not knowing what we don’t know) this is when you are operating from a place of unconsciousness in some area of your life. This could be an area that’s not serving you OR an area you’ve never explored before.
  2. Conscious Incompetence: This represents the point at which you become consciously aware of either what’s not working OR what you need to learn/create in order to become competent.
  3. Conscious Competence: This level of competence represents the steps, actions, & rituals you are undertaking to become competent in a certain area of your life. *NOTE: Repetitious & consistent practice is necessary at this level to get to the next level!
  4. Unconscious Competence: This is the point where you are now so competent that you can do whatever you’ve been practicing without even thinking about it. In other words, it’s now a habit (vs. a ritual that requires effort & intention).

Here’s the good news! Every single one of us has experienced these levels first-hand in life many time over. 🙂

For example, think of something that you know how to do VERY well.

You probably weren’t the master in that area coming right out of the gate! In the beginning, you stumbled. You made mistakes. You course-corrected. And you had to practice (a lot!) to get to a point where you felt you could do it without even thinking about it.

THIS is the process by which we gain confidence & self-mastery.

So how can YOU become your very own hero?

Simply follow these steps to increase competency, confidence, & self-mastery in your life:

  1. Choose an area of your life that you’d like to change & identify what you need to be, do, or learn in order to become more competent (Conscious Incompetence).
  2. Consider the steps, actions, or rituals that will increase your competency & implement the #1 thing you can do that will increase your competency (Conscious Competence).
  3. Repeat this process over & over again (with self-assessment along the way!) until you feel completely competent in that area (Unconscious Competence).

And voila! A systematic approach for creating change in ANY area of your life. 🙂

Over time & with practice, you’ll be able to apply this systematic approach to anything you want to change or bring into your life.

If along the way you need help removing an obstacle or getting clarity on what the steps, actions, or rituals will be to take you where you want to go, ask for help. Hire a coach. Practice self-growth & discovery. Do whatever it takes to bridge the gap between incompetence & competence!


Because this is the path of the hero & it is here where you will learn true self-mastery. 🙂

Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to love their self, health, & life through radical self-love, radiant self-care, & empowered self-mastery!

Are you ready to be your very own hero?

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR call 720-333-6796 TODAY to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to LOVE your SELF, your HEALTH, and your LIFE, be sure to follow me on social media! 🙂

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Are Your “Strength Tanks” Running on Empty?

strengthHave you ever had a really low, dark, or frightening time in your life?

If yes, I’m sure you remember how difficult it was to go through that experience. Maybe you lost faith, felt dis-empowered (or worse!), or you just simply stopped believing in yourself.

Do you remember how exhausting that felt?!

More than likely, it depleted your “strength tanks” greatly (i.e. by lessening your confidence, courage, persistence, faith, commitment, etc…) until those reserves were running on empty.

AND, at some point, I imagine you were finally able to “warrior-up” & pull yourself through!

What possessed you to dig deep, deep beneath the depleted strength reserves you possessed during that dark time of your life?

To help you learn how to dig deeper (than you ever thought possible) when your “strength tanks” are running on empty, I’d like to share a personal story with you.

About two weeks I decided to go on a hike in the mountain wilderness, along with my faithful sweet corgi pup.

Along the trail, I was faced with the potential for my very own death.

When I had set out, the temperature was already well above 80 degress (in the mountains, this is considered HOT!). The incline of the trail was sharp and steady.

Quickly, I worked up a sweat.

Sadly, shade was infested with vicious hordes of mosquitos that constantly buzzed and bit through both the long-sleeved shirt and long pants I wore.

I reminded myself that a higher altitude would yield fewer mosquitos and pressed forward on the trail, pausing to take my first leisurely rest around 90 minutes later.

Finally, the altitude was high enough that shade yielded true relief. Mosquitos were non-existent so I rested there for awhile.

A very short time later, I started to feel funny in a not-so-funny way. In less than 5 mins I started experiencing all of the following:

  • My body felt over-heated.
  • My breath was shallow.
  • I felt weak.
  • No amount of water was cooling me off.
  • My handy travel peppermint essential oil bottle was EMPTY.
  • I simply couldn’t cool down.
  • I started to feel dizzy & disoriented.

Never having felt this way on a hike before, I knew it was important not to panic. I focused on my breathing. I ate a carrot stick or two to even out my sugar levels. I drank lots of water.

Finally, I started to feel better & decided to head back; however, after only 30 minutes I over-heated again!

This time, the disorientation hit me hard and the shade I was in was inundated with mosquitos. I couldn’t ground myself, I panicked, and then I felt the biggest fear I’ve ever felt in my life well up in my solar plexus.

I was afraid I might pass out (or worse!) on the trail!

After all, it was just me & my 1 1/2 year old dog on the trail. Not. A. Soul. In. Sight. Me panicked. My dog unprotected.

It took me a few moments to realize that in order for me to overcome this predicament I I needed to dig deep into strength reserves that had been compromised by heat exhaustion.

In that moment, it literally felt like a matter of life and death. I knew had to “save” not only my dog’s life, but my own.

I realized fully that the only way I would come down that mountain was to step into “warrior” mode.

To do that, I had to “warrior-up” and “suck it up”, buttercup.

In that shining moment of personal responsibility, I insisted on taking back control of my physical exhaustion and became committed to rising above the panic that was gripping my heart.

In that moment, I tapped into strength reserves I thought were non-existent.

Determined, I stood up, focused on my breathing, and put one foot in front of the other

My intuition told me to start eating the celery I had in my bag (somehow I knew it would cool me from the inside out).

By the time I arrived at my car, I felt like a warrior that had survived battle but I was greatly energized by my ability to get down the mountain.

The battle I won had actually been with myself.

And in that moment, I felt stronger than I’ve ever felt before.

So what’s the moral of the story?

For me personally, it was a lesson on strength, faith, commitment, persistence, determination, grit along with a few other lessons I’m walking away with:

  • I can learn from life’s ups & downs.
  • My unwavering commitment to myself & my belief in myself will get me through.
  • If at first I don’t succeed, breathe deep, course-correct, & try again!
  • I’m stronger & more courageous than I give myself credit for.
  • Life is worth fighting for.
  • My loved ones are worth fighting for.
  • I am worth fighting for.
  • “Warrior” energy gets things done.
  • Celery is my new hiking snack of choice!
  • Make sure I have peppermint essential oil in my backpack for cooling on hot days. 🙂

I know I could come up with even more lessons if I tried, as I’m sure you could too in a similar circumstance!

Just remember, there’s so much that’s of benefit to us from the low, dark, & frightening times of life.

AND, the next time an experience has YOU feeling low, dark, or frightened remember the following:

You are stronger than you think.

Simply decide what you’re most committed to in that moment and “warrior-up” through the actions that you take. 🙂

Hands on HeartJess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to LOVE them SELF, their HEALTH, and their LIFE!

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR call 720-333-6796 TODAY to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to LOVE your SELF, your HEALTH, and your LIFE, be sure to follow me on social media! 🙂

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How to Free Yourself From Fear

This month’s Self-Mastery Spotlight is on how to free yourself from fear!

In a previous article I spoke about The 7 Fears That Sabotage Your Life, which is great for helping you become aware of what holds you back!

That being said, knowing the fears that hold you back is NOT the same as knowing how to FREE yourself from those fears, which is why I put together today’s video blog!

Wouldn’t it be great if you had a method you could use to not only FREE yourself of FEAR but of ANY dis-empowering emotion that might arise?

Wouldn’t this make YOUR life easier?!! Of course it would.

As many of you know, I’m an avid fan and deep seeker of personal growth and I’ve learned a few tricks over the years for reconditioning fear into freedom.

To assist you in discovering and understanding how to free yourself from fear, I’ve put together this short 5 minute video to share my thoughts on a very simple 3-part approach for transforming FEAR into FREEDOM.

To watch, simply click on the video link below:

And, if after practicing this approach in the weeks ahead you still find yourself fixated & focusing on FEAR, call me to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult so that you can learn how I can help you release that fear… at a cellular level!

Jess Smiling

En-JOY & have an amazing rest of your week! 🙂

Jess Signature

The Self Care Goddess


…empowering YOU to LOVE yourself & your life!

P.S. Would you like to experience working with me in person? Check out one my upcoming personal development events, essential oils workshops, or yoga classes below! 🙂

OR, you can also schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult by calling me directly at 720-333-6796.

P.S.S. Do you want to receive daily inspiration on how to LOVE yourself AND your life? Be sure to follow me! 🙂

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The 7 Fears That Sabotage Your Life

Do YOU ever struggle with panic or fear?

I’m not talking about the kind of fear that kicks in when your life is in danger but rather, the kind of fear that comes from your thoughts, your beliefs, and the conditioning you’ve received over the years?

I know I have!

PANICSadly, I was oblivious to this fact for the first 35 years of life and I unintentionally let fear drive many of actions, words, and thoughts. In fact, I believe it played a part in the chronic pain I experienced for well over 10 years!

Several years ago, as part of my Journey accreditation program,  I attended a week-long, silent, healing retreat to identify and release the ego fixations that held me back. It was there that I clearly realized for the first time ever that my biggest ego fixation was fear around safety and security.

Once I learned this about myself, it WOKE me up!

For the first time, I saw clearly how this pattern had been showing up and running (and ruining) most of my life in the form of anxiety, doubt, worry, and second-guessing of anything that might affect my safety and security.

This revelation was enlightening AND at the same time, terrifying.

Why? Because I realized in that moment that it was MY dis-empowering thoughts, beliefs, and conditioning that had been dictating my emotional reactions (AND my reality) for so long!

In a flash I realized I could no longer play the victim card and blame others for my unhappiness. In order to transform that fear, I had to take control of my life and make a commitment to my personal growth and evolution.

As a result of that commitment, I’ve learned a lot about fear!

Since that unconscious time in my life, I’ve learned the various types of fear AND I’ve learned how to to embrace, learn from, and be-friend my own fears.  🙂

And although I still have moments where anxiety, doubt, worry, and second-guessing come up, I can now more easily recognize & release those fears. I’ve also become more skilled and adept at transforming fear into an empowering reaction and feelings of trust, faith, courage, and security.

So what are the fears that hold YOU back? 🙂

One of my favorite authors, Napoleon Hill, believed that the 7 basic fears in life are as follows:

  1. Fear of poverty
  2. Fear of criticism (or rejection)
  3. Fear of ill health
  4. Fear of loss of love (or abandonment)
  5. Fear of the loss of liberty (or freedom)
  6. Fear of old age
  7. Fear of death

So how can awareness of these fears be of benefit to YOU personally?

Well, let’s find out!

For each of the above fears, do the following:

  1. Write down all the life scenarios where this fear played itself out for you.
  2. Review the scenarios and answer the following question… what has this fear COST you?
  3. Review the scenarios again and answer the following question… what are the benefits you’ll receive if you could release your attachment to this fear?

My guess is that your answers to the above questions will enlighten you! Not only that but they’ll provide you with awareness of what you want AND don’t want so that you have a clearer vision of where you’re going and what’s stopping you.

So, whenever these fears arise going forward, simply put in place the following:

  1. Identify what’s driving the fear.
  2. Briefly feel & experience the fear fully.
  3. Re-direct & focus your attention on the benefits of what you REALLY desire.
  4. Take ONE small action or step toward what you REALLY desire until it shifts your energy & lifts your spirits.

With enough practice and persistence, it will become easier over time to release the fear itself and re-focus your attention to what you REALLY desire! It could even help you handle other dis-empowering emotions with more ease and grace. 🙂

Give this a shot, en-JOY the journey, & report back to me with your progress!

How to Create a “Health” Mindset

Have you ever wondered how to go about create a “health” mindset in your life?

For close to 10 years I suffered deeply from major low back pain, trying one thing after another to “fix the problem”.

In fact, I thought I was doing everything I could to address the physical symptoms I was experiencing – pain medication, chiropractic care, acupuncture, & massage therapy just to name a few.
NONE of it made a difference.
In fact, if anything… it got worse!

WHY? Well, I believe it was because my focus of attention was on the following:

  1. fixing the problem vs. seeking a solution
  2. looking for someone who could fix me vs. fixing myself (i.e. taking ownership of & personal responsibility for my physical, mental, & emotional health)
  3. addressing symptoms vs. the root cause of the physical pain  
The truth is that back then I felt hopeless, punished & broken. The more hopeless, punished & broken I felt, the worse I felt! 🙁

Ultimately, this is what led to me having a “sickness” mindset that greatly exacerbated my physical health!

After MANY years of trying to fix the problem, looking for someone to fix me, & trying to address the symptoms I finally realized that my perspective & focus of attention was fixated on what I did NOT want.

It was then that I decided to start focusing on the solution, fixing myself, addressing the root cause of the problem & moving toward what I really wanted.

Upon doing this, I came up with some realizations (from this more open-minded, flexible place) that would lead me to what I really desired & here’s what I realized:

  • Instead of focusing on managing & eliminating pain, I realized I could focus on creating strength, flexibility & vitality in my body, mind, & spirit.
  • Instead of viewing this as a problem, I realized I could look at it as an opportunity to learn how to take care of & heal myself from the inside out.
  • Instead of feeling resentment over feeling punished, I realized I could feel gratitude for the health I did have & the power to change what wasn’t working.
  • Instead of feeling helpless & looking outside myself to be “fixed”, I realized I could commit to taking back control of my health.

AND, when I actually started to focus more often on all of the above, I felt better!

Additionally, this shift toward a more positive “health” mindset that allowed me to start taking positive steps in the right direction & also led to:

  • my mindset became more open-minded & flexible
  • my actions shifted in a positive direction
  • greater self-awareness
  • increased strength, flexibility, & vitality
  • higher wisdom & non-attachment
  • gratitude, joy, & happiness
  • MORE of what I really wanted!

And most importantly, a significant reduction of pain (mental, emotional AND physical!).

So… my challenge to YOU, Contact First Name, is to identify ONE aspect of your physical health or appearance that you would like to shift your perspective on.

Then, do the following exercise to shift your perspective & give you something to practice:

  1. Make a list of all the current beliefs (healthy or unhealthy!) you have about this aspect of your physical health.
  2. For any belief that is unhealthy or dis-empowering in any way, identify what you really desire in that area.
  3. Write a present-tense affirmation that represents the essence of that desire. For example: “My spine is crooked & degenerated” would become “I am creating a healthy, strong, flexible, & supple spine!”.
  4. For any belief that is healthy or empowering, write down the essence of that belief as a present-tense affirmation.
  5. Print this list & read each affirmation daily.  

As you review this list daily, over time you will start to experience a shift in your mindset. 

AND, because your focus of attention is on what you really want more often, you will likely find yourself taking small steps along the way that will lead you back to the sound physical health that you really desire. 🙂