Why Self-Care is Better for You Than Self-Discipline

Have you ever struggled with the self-discipline it takes to create the happiness and success you desire?

Why is that?

I have a theory about why self-discipline is so challenging and it’s related to the conditioning and beliefs we’ve developed as a culture around what the word “self-discipline” actually means.

Consider for a moment the following definition of the word “self-discipline”:

self-discipline – n. discipline and training of oneself, usually for improvement

Typically, the words “discipline” and “training” tend to be more masculine in nature, which means any action taken is going to require focus, attention, effort and maybe even some good old “hard work”. For some, it may also mean that it will feel more like something that “has” to be done (i.e. obligation) vs. something that “wants” to be done (i.e. desire).

When trying to create change in your life, do these qualities sound like a “joyful or fun” experience to you?

From a mindset perspective, not really.

So why is self-care better for you than self-discipline…?

In a nutshell, here’s why. First, consider now the definition of the word “self-care”:

self-care – n. care of the self without medical or other professional consultation

Don’t you agree that “care of the self” tends to sound more loving and nurturing in nature?

Of course it does!

And although there may still be self-discipline and effort involved in learning how to “care for yourself” on your own, consider how empowering it is to overcome obstacles that hold you back without the help from outside sources! Not only that, but “self-care” comes from a place of desire vs. obligation, which means the energy that drives your actions will be much more feminine in nature (i.e. loving, gentle, nurturing, and desiring).

So when it comes time to create change in your life would you rather create from a place of self-discipline or self-care? 🙂

For me, I’ve found that choosing “self-care” rituals to create what I desire in life feels like less effort, is far more enjoyable, and way more effective than creating actions based on “self-discipline”.


Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to love their self, health, & life through radical self-love, radiant self-care, & empowered self-mastery!

Are you ready to be your very own hero?

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR call 720-333-6796 TODAY to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult!

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Connecting With Your Deepest Desires

Life's PurposeThis month’s Self-Mastery Spotlight on connecting with your deepest desires will give you clarity & a new sense of direction that will inspire and delight you in 2014! 🙂

Before sharing how to do this, it’s important first to look at what the definition of desire actually is. According to www.dictionary.com the definition of desire is as follows:

de· sire (n.) – a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment.

Ok, so why is it important to connect with your deepest desires?

Well, think about this… when you crave something, you’re more motivated & inspired to take action.

AND, when you’re satisfied with or enjoying what you do, effort put forth seems easier!

Not only that but desire helps you persevere until you attain what you desire! 

Therefore, it goes without saying that the chances of you accomplishing what you desire are HIGHER when there is a deep longing or craving for it in place. 🙂

So here’s this month’s Self-Mastery tip that will get you connected to your deepest desires quickly:

  1. On a blank sheet of paper, write down the area of your life that you’d like to explore. For example:
    1. Professional
    2. Personal
    3. Health
    4. Relationship
    5. etc…
  2. Beneath the area of your life you want to explore, write “My deepest burning desire is…”  
  3. From there, simply write down everything you desire in that area in free-hand format (or in bullet points).  *NOTE: Make sure that you write as if there are no limitations to what you can create!  

To help you really connect to your deepest desires, be sure to reflect upon & consider the following when writing:

  • What will bring you the most JOY, inspiration, or delight?
  • What will reverse any pain or suffering that you’re experiencing now or in the past?
  • What will bring you the greatest satisfaction & sense of accomplishment?

You can write your desires for 2014 OR for what you want to be, do, or have in this lifetime.

Remember, anything that’s out of sight is usually out of mind, so review regularly to keep you connected to your deepest burning desires so that you can 1) be reminded to take action in that direction as much as possible & 2) be on the lookout for opportunities that will lead you where you want to go!

How to Make 2014 a Labor of Love!

JOYDid you know that a GREAT way to motivate yourself to get something done AND accelerate your progress is to make it as fun, joyful, inspiring & delightful as possible?!

Why is that?

Well, because when you do anything that you LOVE, you are in the moment, present, allowing (vs. forcing), energized, AND vibrating at the highest possible level you can vibrate at!

All of this makes any effort you put forth feel effortless and allows for you to manifest what you really want with far more ease & grace!

Pretty cool, right…? 🙂

Have you ever set a goal or dream for yourself and then your energy just seemed to fizzle out before you could accomplish it?

If so, maybe it’s because those dreams weren’t connected to the essence of what inspires or brings you JOY!

So how can you remedy this…?

First and foremost, one way would be to choose and set goals and dreams that:

  • Inspire & delight you!
  • Bring you deep JOY & fulfillment!
  • Connect you to your intuition, to Spirit & to your Higher Self!
  • Shares your passions with others!
  • Nurtures your body & spirit to help you LOVE yourself & your life!

Think about it… with this kind of inspiration in place, you will likely:

  • Have more JOY, fun, excitement, inspiration, & delight in your life!
  • Feel more energized, excited & motivated to put forth the effort that’s required to make any dreams a reality!
  • Be able to experience life more fully from the wisdom of your higher self (vs. the lower, wounded parts of you that drain & deplete you)!
  • Vibrate at a higher emotional frequency so that you can manifest what you really want with ease and grace!
  • Love yourself more completely, making it possible to love others from that same place without even thinking about it!

With so much good energy & focus in place, there’s no way you could fail, right..?! 🙂

So how can YOU make 2014 a labor of LOVE for yourself?

Personally, I believe it’s as simple as getting connected to the essence of what I’m trying to create in my life.

For example, if I had a goal to make more money so that I could pay off debt, the essence of what I want to experience might be FINANCIAL FREEDOM.

If I wanted to spend time traveling, the essence of what I want to experience might be FUN & ADVENTURE. 

If I wanted to lose weight so that I could feel better & have more energy, the essence of what I want to experience might be STRENGTH & STAMINA.

To make these dreams a labor of love, I simply have to choose ONE new on-going ritual or routine in each of these areas that will inspire me, delight me, bring me joy, embody my passion, nurture my body, etc…

For example, here are some rituals related to the sample themes and core values I mentioned above:

  • FINANCIAL FREEDOM: making something creative (i.e. art, jewelry, etc..) every week that I could sell to make some extra money.
  • FUN & ADVENTURE: making a vision board of destinations I’d like to visit & visualizing for at  90 seconds daily how much fun it will be to travel & experience the new cultures, sights, & sounds of each destination.
  • STRENGTH & STAMINA: implementing a daily self-care ritual that nurtures my body, mind, & spirit by doing activities that not only build strength & stamina but are also fun & bring me joy.

So, to summarize how to make 2014 a labor of love, all you need to do is:

  1. Define the dreams & goals that you want to accomplish in 2014.
  2. Get connected to the essence of what you want to create for yourself.
  3. Create fun & inspirational rituals that will align you to that essence!

It’s that simple.

Good luck with your dreams in 2014 & en-JOY! 🙂