How to Hold Space for Yourself

Are you holding space better for OTHERS than you do for yourself?

If the answer is yes, you’ll definitely want to check out this month’s newsletter & article on how to hold space for yourself!

Here’s the deal.

Not only is it in our nature to give to others, but for women in particular it’s also a social norm and expectation!

The result? A stressed-out, exhausted, and overwhelmed human being on the verge of burnout because they don’t know how to hold space for them self.

So why is holding space for yourself so important?

Well, the sad truth is that often we rely on our happiness and fulfillment to come from things OUTSIDE of ourselves.

You know… our significant other, our family, our friends, the car we drive, the house we live in, the money that we make, the things that we can afford to buy, etc.

We often rely on these things as a gauge for our happiness or fulfillment!

But what if true LASTING happiness and fulfillment actually needed to come from INSIDE of us and had everything to do with how well we are taking care of ourselves?

After all, at the heart of self-care is ultimately SELF-LOVE and if we unconditionally loved ourselves (i.e. NO self-judgment whatsoever), we wouldn’t search for happiness and fulfillment OUTSIDE of us.

We’d be happy and content from the INSIDE.

As you already know, I believe self-care is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and is a GREAT way to hold space for yourself to heal, grow, blossom, & THRIVE!

But often I’m asked by people how to do that when we lead such busy lives!

To help you learn how to hold space for yourself more effectively, I’d like to share the 9 crucial keys to being there for yourself, which are as follows:

  1. Embrace your imperfections. Self-judgment is the highway to hell. Instead, look at your imperfections as gifts. How might these imperfections SERVE you or be of benefit in some way? The beautiful thing about imperfection is that it’s very unique from one individual to the next, which means YOU are beautiful and unique!
  2. Learn how to say no to others. Saying yes to others when they ask you for help can be rewarding unless you are sacrificing yourself. Instead, check in with yourself if someone is asking you for help. Do you feel resistance to saying yes? Would saying yes mean you’d have to say no to yourself in a way that dis-empowers you? Also check out 9 Ways To Say YES! to YOU! to learn how to say NO with grace.
  3. Set better boundaries with your time and energy.  This begins with learning how to say no to others. Beyond that, take a look at your daily schedule and routine. Does it feel like you’re on the go all the time? Do you never have time for yourself? Are you regularly and consistently running on empty? Checking in to how you FEEL can help you gauge your energy and learning how to load balance energy fueling and energy draining activities more effectively is crucial to setting better boundaries.
  4. Spend time with yourself. If you never spend time alone, it means that you are constantly actively engaged and in “doing” mode most of the time. Because your nervous system needs to have regular intervals of relaxation in order to function properly, it’s crucial for your stress levels and your sanity to make sure you regularly scheduled time to yourself. Be creative and come up with ways to just “be” in free flow mode with yourself without doing a thing.
  5. Listen to the story that you’re telling. What kind of self talk do you engage in? Do you look on the bright side or are you a negative Nelly? If you’re the latter, it’s important to catch those moments when you are being negative with yourself, mentally “cancel” the statement, and re-frame your toxic thoughts with empowering self-affirmations.
  6. Reach out for support. Having the courage to ask for support when you need it is a tremendous form of self-care and a great way to hold space for yourself when you are in over your head. Human beings are hardwired for connection so to think that you can do everything on your own is essentially shutting off your capacity for connection. Also, learn how to graciously receive support when it is offered to you. You do not have to do it all alone!
  7. Be authentic. Vulnerability is a large part of authenticity. No one is perfect, so embracing your imperfections (see #1) with kindness and compassion gives you the power to change aspects of yourself or your life that you don’t like. Being open, honest, and vulnerable with yourself and others fosters connection, requires tremendous courage, and allows others to see you as your true authentic self. Share this part of you with those who respect & hold space well for you!
  8. Be a good parent to your inner child. Do you beat yourself up when you make a mistake? What would it be like if you could be gentle and loving when mistakes get made? Ideally, a good parent helps their child learn from their experiences and expresses unconditional love. To help your inner child grow, it’s important that you treat yourself the same way.
  9. Develop rituals that support you. Don’t like certain aspects of your life? Develop daily or weekly rituals to help fill in whatever might be missing in your life. And remember, the only way to become the master of something is through repetition and consistency. Having rituals in place that support you is a great way to recondition yourself for greatness!

So ask yourself… have I been holding space for others more than I hold space for myself?

If the answer is yes, I encourage you implement the 9 crucial keys listed above to experience happiness and fulfillment from the INSIDE out.

I promise they will make a huge difference! 🙂

jess-in-redJess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, helps high-reaching superwoman struggling to juggle it all re-invent success & re-ignite their radiance without sacrificing their soul, sanity, or health!

Are you ready to re-ignite your radiance & SHINE BRIGHT?

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR click HERE to apply for & schedule your *COMPLIMENTARY* Discovery Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to break free from burnout & re-ignite your radiance, be sure to follow me on social media! 🙂

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