How to Be of Service Without Self-Sacrifice

Most of us have heard the saying “give unto others as you would have done to you” but how do you know when the gifts you give to others are no longer serving you OR those you are trying to serve?

 

Early on in my business as a self-care & soul guidance coach, I learned some important lessons about giving TOO much of myself.
When I first started seeing clients, I desperately wanted to provide them with the best service I could render.

 

I knew the importance of good customer service and there was a part of me that believed if I bent over backwards to take care of my client that it would result in happier clients, more referrals, and greater financial prosperity!

On one hand, my desire to be of service was greatly beneficial to me because it taught me all the best ways to take care of my clients.On the other hand, I was so focused on my desire to be of service that I said “YES” far more often then was healthy, which resulted in me sacrificing myself more often than not.

Fortunately, this experience helped me better understand the difference between self-sacrifice and self-care!

It also taught me the importance of setting boundaries with my time, energy, and money.

Whether you have clients of your own or just friends and family in your life that you are offering your gift of service to, there IS a way to offer even GREATER service than you do now without the self-sacrifice!

To help you provide service that takes care of BOTH you and others, here are a few simple recommendations to create service-based results that are WIN-WIN all the way around:

  1. Only offer your gift of service from a place of  joy and true choice. Offering a service that you “have to or feel “forced” to offer is going to make you feel angry, bitter, or resentful will only set up everyone involved for failure. As a general rule of thumb, offer up your time, energy, and commitment to things that feel joyful, light, and free of resistance.
  2. Take time to consider the ripple effects if heaviness or resistance is present. If necessary, ask for time to think about the level of time, energy, and commitment that will be needed to provide the service you desire. Also, consider delegating, de-committing, or delaying the task to another time to make things feel more joyful, light, or free for everyone involved.
  3. Take responsibility for the decisions you make. If you don’t like the outcome of something, consider how the choices and decisions you make might prevent it from happening next time.
  4. Avoid over-committing yourself.  Jam-packing your schedule full of commitments will drain you of your energy, create emotional discontent, and make it more difficult to render the service you desire.
  5. Prioritize, reorganize, and adhere to your schedule daily so that you can focus only on the most important things, one thing at a time.
  6. Refuel your energy stores regularly. To keep from feeling depleted, exhausted, or overwhelmed by your commitments say “YES” to yourself by setting aside regular, consistent time for self-care, downtime, hobbies, creativity, exercise, etc… Not only will this recharge and make you more effective in the service that you’re rendering but it also keeps others from taking advantage of you.
  7. Load-balance energy-fueling and energy-draining activities throughout your day and week to prevent burnout.

Of course, there are many unique and different ways to provide service without sacrificing yourself.

In addition to implementing some of the above recommendations, you might also want to consider what this might look like for yourself by asking yourself the following questions:

  • In what ways have I sacrificed my health & well-being to take care of others?
  • What has this cost me?
  • How could I prevent this kind of self-sacrifice in the future in a way that’s WIN-WIN for all involved?

Going through this process will help you determine ways to take better care of yourself while still providing the service you desire.

I hope you’ve found this helpful and if you have other ideas or ways to provide service without self-sacrifice, please share in the comments below! 🙂


Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to LOVE them SELF, their HEALTH, and their LIFE!

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR call 720-333-6796 TODAY to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to LOVE your SELF, your HEALTH, and your LIFE, be sure to follow me on social media! 🙂

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108 Ways to Practice Self-Care

Self-care 1What does self-care mean to you?

After empowering my clients to love them self, their health, and their life for almost 8 years now, I’ve found that self-care is different and unique for everyone.

Sadly, some consider self-care to be selfish or the lowest priority on the list amidst all the daily responsibilities, commitments, and distractions.

In fact, self-sacrificing tendencies happen to be the #1 ego fixation or compulsion that show up in my clients, resulting in self-inflicted bitterness, anger, and resentment that poisons their relationship to self and others.

Worse, I’ve worked with many who are so disconnected from themselves that they don’t even know what energizes, fuels, and inspires them (qualities that I consider to be prerequisites for what could be considered self-care!).

It’s not until these clients realize that self-care is actually the #1 thing they can do in they life that will not only bring them all that they desire, but it will also allow them to show up and contribute to the world from a place of fullness (vs. emptiness and drain).

Not only that but self-care is what allows us to take back control of our self, our health, and our life in a complete and whole  way! 🙂

To give you ideas of what self-care could look like, I want to share 108 ways to practice self-care that just might completely change your life!

 

108 Ways to Practice Self-Care

1.    Practice gratitude daily
2.    Spend time in nature
3.    Drink lots of water
4.    Set boundaries with your money, time, & energy
5.    Eat a well-balanced, healthy diet
6.    Fuel & energize your body consistently
7.    Exercise regularly
8.    Learn from setbacks & mistakes
9.    Take time for downtime or meditation
10.    Practice breath work
11.    Eat lots of organic fruits & vegetables
12.    Recycle
13.    Gently speak your truth
14.    Ask for help
15.    Practice generosity
16.    Nurture & soothe yourself when hurt
17.    Be willing to receive
18.    Grow your own garden
19.    Paint your cares away
20.    Dance like no one’s watching
21.    Play & have fun
22.    Let yourself putter
23.    Do things just for the joy of it
24.    Draw or doodle
25.    Journal
26.    Set intentions for your day, week, month, year, & life
27.    Get a massage
28.    Learn to say no
29.    Carry snacks with you
30.    Take a hot bath
31.    Disconnect from the hustle & bustle
32.    Take a nap if you need it
33.    Watch a funny movie
34.    Sing or listen to music
35.    Meet or call a good friend just to hang out
36.    Write poetry
37.    Do a cleanse
38.    Use essential oils for health & well-being
39.    Get a babysitter
40.    Have a date night
41.    Spend time at the beach
42.    Spend time in the mountains
43.    Go camping
44.    Read a good book
45.    Find a hobby or craft project to work on
46.    Go to the park & swing on a swing
47.    Take photos for fun
48.    Listen to or read personal development books or programs
49.    Practice creative visualization
50.    Assess your progress after every setback AND success
51.    Go for a walk
52.    Take a vacation
53.    Sit in a hot spring pool or tub
54.    Face your fears
55.    Buy yourself flowers
56.    Let go of clutter (environmental & emotional)
57.    Nurture, love, & heal your inner child
58.    Drink herbal tea
59.    Shield yourself from negativity
60.    Immerse yourself in positivity
61.    Practice tai-chi, qi gong, or yoga
62.    Set up email rules
63.    Unsubscribe from newsletters
64.    Manage your time effectively
65.    Work smart (vs. hard)
66.    Take leisurely drives
67.    Make a bucket list
68.    Brighten up your wardrobe
69.    Book a healing session
70.    Hire a coach
71.    Spend time reconnecting with family
72.    Create affirmation cards
73.    Create a vision board
74.    Pay it forward
75.    Smile & be nice… just because.
76.    Practice mindfulness
77.    Actively listen to yourself & others
78.    Make love
79.    Laugh out loud
80.    Spend time with your pets
81.    Get enough rest
82.    Go for a hike in nature
83.    Cuddle or hug someone
84.    Remove what no longer serves you
85.    Celebrate your successes
86.    Turn off the T.V. & the news
87.    Take a break from social media
88.    Have fun with cooking
89.    Surround yourself with loving, supportive people
90.    Re-decorate your office or your home
91.    Schedule ALL life activities into your calendar, including self-care!
92.    Go for a bike ride
93.    Know your strengths & core values
94.    Embrace & transform your imperfections
95.    Put yourself first (instead of last)
96.    Go inward for guidance
97.    Surrender to the unknown
98.    Stop comparing yourself to others
99.    Practice unconditional love
100.    Take risks
101.    Reduce/eliminate animal products & processed foods from your diet
102.    Forgive yourself & others
103.    Stand up for yourself
104.    Take time to feel & identify your emotions
105.    Be of service
106.    Walk or lay in the grass with your bare feet
107.    Sit in the sun for a few minutes every day
108.    Determine your life’s purpose or deepest desires

Now that you have a clearer sense of what self-care looks like, feel free to expand upon this list!

The number of ways to practice self-care are limitless and totally unique to you, your likes, your interests, etc…

In addition, anything that fuels, energizes, or inspires you is fueling in nature so pick something that meets one of these criteria.

AND, if you’re not sure where to start here’s a hint:

Start by doing something brings you JOY! 🙂


Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to LOVE them SELF, their HEALTH, and their LIFE!

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR call 720-333-6796 TODAY to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to LOVE your SELF, your HEALTH, and your LIFE, be sure to follow me on social media! 🙂

Like us on Facebook View our profile on LinkedIn Follow us on TwitterView our videos on YouTube

How to find sweetness in your bittersweet…

Shauna Niequist | Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

Do you sometimes find the sadness and difficulties in life hard to bear?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could find and appreciate the sweetness in your bittersweet?

Unexpectedly, I lost a dear friend and sweet goddess sister this week, reminding me of the bittersweetness that life sometimes has to offer.

You see, this dear friend of mine was given a prognosis of cancer with 6 months left to live over 2 years ago.

Amazingly, over the past 2 years I watched this amazing woman defy the doctors’ prognosis and heal herself of cancer!

I also watched her fall in love and find someone who cherished and adored her. In fact, their wedding was scheduled for this coming May.

About a week or so ago, my dear friend posted on her cancer blog that she was finally cancer free, happier than she’d ever been, and that the next time we’d be hearing from her was with the announcement of her wedding.

The last thing I expected was her passing.

Sadly, in less than a week of her last post her compromised immune system brought her down with pneumonia. Fighting for breath, she was admitted to the hospital where the doctors found an inoperable tumor on her lungs and within 3 days she passed.

This unexpected turn of events really rocked and shocked me.

On one hand, I am mourning her loss. Deep moments of grief and sadness have come over me. On the other hand, I have extreme gratitude over her being in my life and being able to spend time with her the last few moments of life on Monday before she passed.

I am also grateful to her husband for making the last year and last few moments of her life sacred and precious (by the way, they married the Friday before her passing!).

Upon leaving her room on Monday I left a goddess charm with her. On the back of the charm were the words “Your life is a sacred journey”.

Ahhhhh, yes. These words have been all I can think about this week.

The more I reflect, the more I realize that the legacy that we leave others, the lessons we pass on, and the empowering ripple effects we have on the world is what living a sacred life is all about.

It makes me want to be a better person.

My dear friend did that and now it’s my turn to do the same, so that I can honor her memory.

That same day at 4:44 pm I posted a tribute to my friend on Facebook, reflecting the impact she’s had on my life:

“This physical world has lost a sweet angel today.
To my dear, sweet friend! You will be forever in my heart, my soul, and my DNA.
Thank you for gracing me with your goddess energy, your grace, your wisdom, your lightness of being, and your presence.
Because of you I am a better woman.
Your elegance, compassion, humility, willfulness, intention, presence, surrender, and commitment to truth will inspire and motivate me to greatness for years to come!
I gladly receive these gifts you’ve given me and promise to nurture them within myself each day through my own spiritual practice.
Thank you, sweet sister.
I have seen through you what it means to be in love and in service, walking a path of truth and surrender.
I hope when my time comes I will be cherished, adored, and loved as much as you, dear friend.
You are pure goddess energy now and free to fly!

This tribute and my commitment to live a sacred life in her honor is what helps me find the sweetness in my bittersweet.

And so to you, dear reader, I’d like for you to consider for yourself the answer to the following two questions:

What can you do to welcome in sweetness when life hands you the bitterest of lemons?

And, how can YOU live your life as a sacred journey?

Be careful. The answer to these two questions just might make life your sacred and sweet. 🙂

The #1 Thing That Will Re-Ignite EVERYTHING You Do!

Wouldn’t it be great if there was just ONE thing you could do to light up EVERYTHING in your life?!

Self Love

For most things in life, a “quick” fix is usually not the right solution. We are complex human beings and transformation is usually something that needs to occur on many different levels.But what if you could make your transformation easier by focusing on just ONE area to start?

More importantly, what if making a change in just this ONE area of your life had a positive ripple effect on EVERYTHING you do?!

Would this make it easier to focus your efforts? Of course it would.

To simplify your focus & re-ignite everything you do, I believe there is ONE thing that will make the biggest difference, which is as follows:

SELF-LOVE

Why would focusing on SELF-LOVE re-ignite everything you do?!

Because pretty much everything you’ve ever created in your life is driven by the thoughts that you think, the emotions that you feel, and the actions you take!

Think about this for a minute.

Each experience you have in life is affected by your thoughts, vibrations, and emotions. Feelings such as judgment, anger, shame, sadness, regret, etc… vibrate at a lower frequency. As humans, we have a tendency to be our own worst enemies, which leaves us operating at a lower vibrational frequency until we can learn how to love ourselves!

AND, because “like attracts like” this means when you are feeling a lower vibrational feeling, you will magnetize people and experiences that are similar to your vibrational frequency. In other words, your environment is a reflection of how you feel inside.

Fortunately, one of the highest vibrations available is that of LOVE (along with enlightenment, peace, joy, compassion, etc…).

So… to re-ignite EVERYTHING that you do, simply become a vibrational match to SELF-LOVE. 🙂

Will this truly work? The only way to find out if becoming a vibrational match to SELF-LOVE re-ignites everything you do, simply challenge yourself over the next 30 days to:

  1. Practice SELF-LOVE as much as you possibly can!
  2. Make decisions based on what feels good, nurtures you, or inspires you!
  3. Pay attention to the ripple effect that your actions have on your life!

I’m willing to bet that EVERYTHING in your life is enhanced when SELF-LOVE is present. 🙂


Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to LOVE them SELF, their HEALTH, and their LIFE!

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR call 720-333-6796 TODAY to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to LOVE your SELF, your HEALTH, and your LIFE, be sure to follow me on social media! 🙂

Like us on Facebook View our profile on LinkedIn Follow us on TwitterView our videos on YouTube

How to Re-Ignite & LIGHT Up Your Life!

Ignite Your PassionDo you feel stuck, like you are drifting through life without direction?

Do you wonder what it would be like to love yourself more completely without judgment, shame, or regret?

Would you like to take better care of your health and your life?!

If you’re like me (i.e. human), there’s always room for improvement in your life. This is not because you’re a bad person or just can’t get it right, but because the very nature of human existence is change and evolution.

Ironically, change is something we tend to resist for many reasons – fear, safety, security,lack of self-esteem, etc…

That being said, change is also the thing (when embraced) that could re-ignite and LIGHT up our lives!

So, if you answered yes to even ONE of the questions above, I’m curious…

What would it take for you to step outside your comfort zone? To change what’s not working? To truly love your SELF, your HEALTH, or your LIFE?!

To help you figure this out, I’d like to offer up some personal recommendations that I have found very helpful for re-igniting & LIGHT-ing up my own life when needed.

My recommendation is an 8-step process that works as follows:

  1. Determine where you are NOW. On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being extraordinary), measure your satisfaction in each of the following areas:
    • SELF (representing your mindset, your opinion of yourself as a person, your mental or spiritual health)
    • HEALTH (representing your satisfaction with your physical, emotional, or financial health)
    • LIFE (representing your satisfaction in life as it relates to your hobbies, your passions, your purpose, or your creativity)
  2. Determine what’s missing. In each of the 3 areas, write down what’s missing. This represents what you really desire!
  3. Determine what’s possible. For everything that’s missing or that you desire, write down all the possible ways you might bring that thing into fruition.
  4. Set intentions. For each area, choose the ONE new action you could take or ritual you could implement that would make the biggest difference in each area. TIP: Choose actions and rituals that are believe-able (to yourself), realistic, and enjoyable. The higher your belief that you can accomplish this action or ritual and the more enjoyable it is, the more likely you are to succeed!
  5. Create an agreement. Make a commitment to yourself to implement the action or ritual you have chosen. Create time in your schedule and schedule it! Make it a priority to create change in your life and set the intention to embrace the journey along the way. Outline what you will do if you get off track and imagine how good it will feel once your goal is accomplished!
  6. Assess your progress. As you work and play toward your goal, assess your progress by checking in regularly to ask yourself questions that will help you transform setbacks into success. What works? What doesn’t work? What can you do differently as you move forward or when you make mistakes?
  7. Be patient. Accomplishments rarely occur overnight. Be prepared to course-correct when you fall off the wagon or make mistakes along the way. This is a normal part of the process and there are many lessons, gifts, and wisdom that can be gained from these setbacks! Use these lessons and this wisdom to help you get back on track.
  8. Celebrate your successes. Along the way, celebrate the small wins and successes you have. When you accomplish your final goal, celebrate the end result! Reward yourself for a job well-done. Honor yourself with self-talk and self-motivation that’s kind and loving in nature!

There you have it! 🙂

If you’re serious about creating change and you’re really ready to re-ignite and LIGHT up your life, I encourage you sit down and spend an hour going through the steps outlined above.

Would it be worth the one hour you spend today getting clarity on how to create change if the end result re-ignites and LIGHTS up your life?!

If you’re like me, the answer is a resounding YES! Try it for yourself and let me know how it goes. 🙂


 

Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers others to LOVE them SELF, their HEALTH, and their LIFE!

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess OR call 720-333-6796 TODAY to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to LOVE your SELF, your HEALTH, and your LIFE, be sure to follow me on social media! 🙂

Like us on Facebook View our profile on LinkedIn Follow us on TwitterView our videos on YouTube

The 3 Keys to Unlocking Your Greatness for the Holidays

Do you find it difficult to tap into your greatness during the holiday season? Is it hard to enjoy the holidays and your connection with others because you feel sad, irritable, over-worked, or exhausted?

 

GreatnessWouldn’t you rather be someone who absolutely LOVES the holidays because of all the joy, love, and peace that abounds?

Even if this is already you, it always feels good to gain access to greater ways of being. 🙂

This is why I’d like to share a few tips on how to improve your life and “unlock your greatness” for the holidays and beyond!

As most of us have experienced at one point or another, there are many reasons why we might feel sad, irritable over-worked, or exhausted.

The loss of a loved one. End of year deadlines. Not having someone to celebrate with. Missing your family. Not having fulfilling family connection. The busied frenzy in the air. Holiday cooking and cleaning. Too many holiday parties and not enough time.

You get the picture, right?

Now envision a new picture…

What would it be like if this holiday was the most joyful you’ve ever experienced? What if you had heaps of patience and felt deeply loving and kind in your interactions with others? What would it be like if you looked forward to the holiday and the connections that you’ll make? What if cleaning and cooking brought joy and a smile to your face? And what would it be like if you truly loved yourself, your health, and your life even with all the temptation in place?!

All this and more is possible with just 3 simple “keys” that will help you unlock your greatness, not just now during the holidays, but above and beyond…

 

  • KEY#1: Love your SELF. For some this is counter-intuitive because at first glance it may feel like selfishness. However, there’s evidence to prove (from a quantum physics perspective) that how you feel about yourself is often reflected in your environment and those around you. If you want to be surrounded by loving, kind, patient people then you must first be loving, kind, and patient with yourself. How can you do this? Set realistic expectations and boundaries for yourself and with others, drop the self-judgment, forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and set new, better goals when you fall off the wagon, just to name a few.
  • KEY#2: Love your HEALTH. This body and vessel that we live in is the only one we will get (in this lifetime!). Taking time out to move and exercise, getting plenty of rest, eating a healthy diet, downtime, joyful activities (without obligation), creativity, alone time, etc… makes it easy it more easy to love yourself AND your life! These also have a positive ripple effect on the physical health of our body, making the body more effective at warding off sickness, thinking more clearly, managing pain more effectively, proper digestion and elimination of one’s diet, etc… AND, it makes it easier for us to manage stress more effectively and access the feeling states we really crave such as loving kindness, gentleness, patience, joy, gratitude, peace, etc…  with far less effort!
  • KEY#3: Love your LIFE. Making choices based on what would bring you joy or make you feel lightest go a long way in helping you truly LOVE your life! WHY? Because you’re giving yourself permission to choose activities that inspire joy, creativity, and the authentic kind connection you really desire, which of course is going to result in LOVING your life! Daily gratitude can also help you appreciate what you might not otherwise see and bring your focus of attention to what’s working (rather than what’s not working). Additionally, knowing who you are, what you stand for, and where you want to BE as you move forward will help you stay strong and in alignment with joy-based living. It will also foster excitement and motivation to keep you moving forward (instead of feeling stuck and stagnant)!

So there you have it. The 3 keys to unlocking your greatness!

As you reflect over the holidays, consider all that you’ve accomplished in 2014. Make a commitment to learn from any mistakes that have been made and be willing to course-correct by setting new and improved intentions for your life in 2015!

And consider this…

If you allowed these 3 keys (or principles) to fully guide your life, what would be different? What would change for the better? How would you feel? Who would you BE? How would your connection with others deepen?

When you take time to answer these questions, I’m willing to bet you’d see that a large majority of things would improve in your life.

Are you willing to love yourself fully no matter what it takes? Are you ready to feel happy, healthy, and whole again? Are you willing to live a bold, courageous life?!

If the answer is yes to these questions, simply do your best to adopt these 3 keys as a way of being (as often as possible!) through the end of the year. Let your actions be in alignment and watch the magic happen! Most importantly, be witness and take note of just how much your life improves.

Here’s to unlocking your greatness! 🙂

30+ Ways to Foster a Stress-Free Environment

frazzledDo YOU ever experience stress? Anxiety? Overwhelm?Of course you do. We all do!

Stressors of all kinds affect a person’s state of mind and overall well-being, whether it be a physical, mental, emotional, environmental, relational, financial, or some other kind of stressor. They exist and in many cases, these stressors CAN be prevented!

Wouldn’t it be helpful to have a list of stress-busting tools at your fingertips to help you manage and handle the various stressors that arise in YOUR life?

In today’s post, I’m going to share with you 30+ ways to prevent stress and foster a stress-free environment!

After all, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” as Benjamin Franklin was quoted.

Here they are (some more obvious than you think!):

  1. Get plenty of rest
  2. Eat a healthy, nutritious diet
  3. Drink LOTS of water
  4. Limit or avoid caffeine, alcohol, drugs, & other stimulants
  5. Use essential oils daily
  6. Redecorate or de-clutter a room in your home or office
  7. Prioritize self care & down time
  8. Be creative on a regular basis
  9. Spend time outdoors in nature
  10. Keep a tidy, clean house
  11. Wear clothes or colors that make you feel good
  12. Exercise regularly
  13. Meditate
  14. Forgive yourself for setbacks & mistakes
  15. Learn from your mistakes
  16. Forgive others for doing the best they can
  17. Set boundaries with your time & energy
  18. Snuggle someone
  19. Give without obligation or expectation of reciprocity
  20. Set intentions & take action for what you want out of life
  21. Be curious with yourself & others, especially when emotional pain is present
  22. Improve yourself with a desire to grow (vs. to “fix”)
  23. Spend quality time with those you love
  24. Buy & sit in your hot tub (preferably chemical-free!)
  25. Give or ask for a hug from someone
  26. Let go of the need to be perfect
  27. Practice gratitude daily
  28. Share your love with a favorite pet or animal
  29. Love ALL parts of yourself
  30. Practice yoga (OFTEN!)
  31. Listen to music that moves you
  32. Ask for help when you need
  33. Speak your authentic, vulnerable truth in a compassionate way that honors all involved
  34. Breathe deeply several times a day
  35. Surrender the need to be right
  36. Know your core values
  37. Think WIN-WIN

This is just to name a few with so many more where that came from!! 🙂

Can you think of any other ways? I’m sure you can.

From here, I’d like invite you to choose 3-5 ways for you to foster a stress-environment during the upcoming holiday season (as well as all year long!) and take action to put them into practice and into place.

Have fun & en-JOY the journey! 🙂

5 Simple Ways to Create a Positive Mental Attitude

nullThis month’s Self-Mastery Spotlight will cover 5 simple ways for YOU to create a positive mental attitude!

Let’s face it. If you’re a human with a brain and the capacity to think, you’ve  suffered from a negative mental attitude at some point in time. :)The good news is that you’re not alone!

Even better news is that there are literally 100’s of ways to transform that negativity into a positive mental attitude .

To give you a few ideas I’d like to share the 5 simple steps that I take when I’m feeling negative to create a positive mental attitude:

  1. Be the change you wish to see in the world. This is a great quote by Mahatma Gandhi and one of the most important lessons you’ll learn in life. When you focus on keeping your words, thoughts, & actions as positive & uplifting as possible (even when you DON’T feel good!) you’ll feel better soon AND good things will be more likely to happen. Of course, there will be days when you lack the resources to maintain this kind of positivity (see #5) so let go of expectations of perfection AND learn from your mistakes. The good news is that the more often you maintain integrity with what you really desire, the easier it will become AND the more positive and happy you will feel!
  2. Create affirmations that represent the change you wish to be. Much of what limits us stems from the thoughts that we think. When you’re feeling upset or negative about life, take a moment to identify what the feelings and beliefs are that are driving your discontent. From there, identify what you REALLY want and write a positively-stated affirmation that represents what you desire. Review and practice alignment to this new affirmation daily until you start to feel more proficient in your efforts.
  3. Do something that brings you JOY. To shift your focus of attention on what’s NOT working onto what will work better, sometimes you need to have an “interrupt”. Interrupting your focus of attention to some more positive in nature will shift your energy in a more positive direction and what better way than to engage in an activity that brings you JOY?! 🙂 You’ll feel better AND you’ll be able to think more clearly & work through whatever was bothering you to begin with.
  4. Approach life with an attitude of open-mindedness, curiosity & discovery. When I’m feeling upset or negative about something it’s usually because my attention has become fixated and closed off to what’s possible. I believe this greatly limits our capacity to feel good about ourselves and life so something that can be done to counteract this limitation is to approach every interaction and experience with as much curiosity and discovery as possible. You can do this by asking lots of open-ended, curiosity-based questions to help you gain greater clarity and understanding as to why things are the way they are AND it will also take you out of resistance and limitation and into open-mindedness and possibility (the foundation of a positive mental attitude!).
  5. Maintain your energy stores with regular, consistent self care. Believe it or not, another huge reason for a negative mental attitude is physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. If you’re not taking care of yourself in all of these areas, your capacity to be patient, loving, kind, gentle, and compassionate goes out the door! To feel better and to interact with others from a place of fullness (vs. lack, obligation, or drain), you must make taking care of yourself an absolute priority. When you’re feeling negative and unhappy, take a break to engage in some form of self-care (i.e. exercise, down time, free flow time, activities that bring you joy, massage, time with a loving friend, etc…).

So there you have it! These are just a few ways that YOU can create a positive mental attitude. The next time you feel negative, pick one of the suggestions above and give it a shot. 🙂

AND, remember that everyone’s different so if the first one doesn’t work for you, keep trying something new until you find the one that shifts things for YOU.

En-JOY & remember to embrace your greatness! You are SO worth it. 🙂

Jess Smiling

Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, can empower YOU to LOVE yourself & your life!
For more information or to schedule a *COMPLIMENTARY* Self Care Wellness Consult call 720-333-6796 TODAY!

 

 

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How to Use Your Body as a Barometer for Your Soul

'Barometer' photo (c) 2008, Ben Crowe - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/Did you know that there is actually meaning & purpose to any mental, emotional, or physical discontent you might experiencing?

I have noticed over the years that when my mind is racing, my emotions are low, or I’m in physical pain it’s usually an indication that something’s either missing in my life or I’m out of alignment with what’s meaningful & important to me. For many years, I used to look outside myself for relief of these symptoms & any quick-fix opportunity that would fill in what was missing.

As a result, I spent a lot of time & money going to training programs & specialists that would “fix” my mindset, my emotions, or my physical pain issues.

And then I realized… in my search to “eliminate” my mental, emotional, or physical suffering, I wasn’t taking the time to listen to & hear what the discontent was actually trying to tell me!

So I started to listen & pay attention to those moments where discontent was present. As a result, I noticed patterns that I hadn’t seen before.

For example, my mind would most often race when I was overcommitted in my schedule & had too much on my plate. After days of this going unaddressed, I would then experience stress, anxiety, & even a bout of depression over not accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish or feeling spread too thin. These emotional states would then inevitably lead to physical pain & stiffness in my body along with digestive issues & brain “fog” that kept me from staying focused & motivated.

Wow! I realized that all of this discontent was my body trying to tell me that I was missing balance & time for self-care. Upon correcting this, I experienced relief from the symptoms & was able to get back on track quickly!

Now, when I feel worried, anxious, or afraid I welcome the emotion long enough to hear what it’s trying to tell me. Sometimes I get the message that I’m meant to learn from my experience the qualities of strength, courage, or maybe even the faith that I will be supported in some way. At other times, I get insight that tells me what’s missing to cause this fear, which leads me to an action I could take for taking personal ownership over the outcome.

Who knew that embracing my discontent (vs. resisting it) would bring me the answers I sought?! 

Now, when I feel discontent, I welcome & listen to the discomfort more freely. It has a purpose. I know it’s trying to tell me something & I’m now open to receiving its wisdom.

As a result of embracing this wisdom & looking at the discontent as a barometer for what my soul is most wanting, I am able to work through the discontent far faster than in the past when I was trying to eliminate or fix it.

So how well are you listening to your body?

The next time you experience mental, emotional, or even physical discontent take a few moments to do the following & see if it helps you figure out what your body is trying to tell you:

  1. Take a few quiet moments to yourself where you will be uninterrupted.
  2. In an upright, seated position close your eyes & take a couple of nice deep breaths in.
  3. Welcome any thoughts, feelings, or emotions related to the discontent you’re feeling one at a time.
  4. For each thought, feeling, or emotion imagine that this is a just a small wounded part of you that’s trying to tell you something.
  5. Welcome it, without judgment, & let it know that you’re listening & you’re here for it (as if it were a small child needing support & reassurance).
  6. Ask this part of you what it’s trying to tell you & wait for the answer. What is it’s purpose in being here? Is it to protect you? To make you aware of something that’s missing? To teach you the core values & qualities you’re meant to learn at a deeper level?

Once you have an answer, take action as best as you can to provide this part of you with what’s it asking of you.

Sometimes you might not get an answer right away. Keep coming back to listen. Eventually a solution will emerge.

Most importantly, it’s been my experience that the more you resist, the more it persists.

So, remember to fully experience & embrace (rather than resist) the discontent, without judgment. This will allow the thoughts, feelings, & emotions to move through you rather than getting stuck & turning into chronic pain & suffering (which is what happens when we consistently stuff our emotions). It will also be easier for insight & solutions to arise, leading you to an outcome that’s better.

Will it be easy in the beginning to do this? Likely not. Keep practicing. It will become easier.

And from this new place of openness & spaciousness, your solution & any wisdom you’re meant to gain will appear.  🙂

90 Day Self Care Challenge – Week 4 & 5

Week 4 & 5 updates are in!!

October was an incredibly busy month for me & I found myself over-committed in many areas. This prevented me from staying “on task” as much as I would’ve liked w/ my 90 Day Self Care Challenge AND oddly enough, I am still making rapid progress in ALL areas!

YAY, me! 🙂

Here are updates for each area:

Career – Progress on my new website & logo design are slowed down a bit due to over-commitment. I’m taking steps to alleviate the over-committment & plan to have this complete by the end of November!

Physical – Although I wanted to created DAILY routine, I’m finding that’s not what works best for me. I get far more benefit & see faster results when I do my core-strengthening when I’m INSPIRED vs. OBLIGATED. WOW! What an amazing concept! My back has been feeling amazing & I’m getting stronger every day. 🙂

Emotional – I’m reconnecting with an old friend from college who I’d lost contact with, deepened my connection w/ several family members, & am waiting to hear back about getting together for lunch/dinner with a few others. All in all, my relationships are getting richer & more vibrant! AND, I got to spend some much needed Soulie time w/ some of my favorite girlfriends over Halloween & we had a blast. AHHHHH, the power of women! 🙂

That’s all for now! Feel free to check out the video update I created for these 2 weeks below & if you’d like to learn more about how I can support you in embracing YOUR greatness, visit my website at www.Awaken-Within.com or call today for a complimentary exploratory session where you can experience first hand the benefits I can offer you!

90 Day Self Care Challenge - Week 4 & 5