5 Easy Steps to End Self-Criticism & Find Love Within

Do you ever get down on yourself or beat yourself up for setbacks & mistakes?

If you’re human (like me!), you know what it’s like to have toxic thoughts & feelings about yourself, such as:

  • I‘m not ____ (good, smart, pretty, etc..) enough
  • I’ll never get it right
  • I don’t have what it takes
  • etc…

After all, it’s a natural part of our programming & conditioning to be self-critical!

But did you know that your relationship with yourself is a HUGE predictor of how happy you’ll be in relationship with others?

You see, if we have a hard time feeling good about ourselves we’ll be much more likely to look to others for validation, soothing, love, & acceptance!

Sadly, this is what leads to co-dependency, unrealistic expectations & a LOT of messy, sad problems in relationship.

The good news?

There actually IS a simple, easy way to recondition yourself to end self-criticism over time & find love within! 🙂

Over the years, I’ve discovered & learned how to use a simple 5-step process that allows me to have more self-compassion & stop beating myself up when setbacks or mistakes arise that actually works really well!

The great thing about this process is that the more you do it & the better you get it at it, it becomes FASTER & EASIER to nip self-criticism in the bud & find love within yourself again. 🙂

So the next time you find yourself being hard on yourself, feeling bad or ruminating over mistakes that have been made, get a piece of paper & a pen & take yourself through the following steps:

  1. Feel the Feelings: Before doing anything else, close your eyes & sit with the raw, pure emotion that you’re feeling. Whether it’s shame, guilt, grief, sadness, despair, anger, rage… let each feeling come flooding, one after the other. Keep giving yourself permission to truly feel what you’re feeling until it’s moved through you & there’s nothing left to feel.
  2. Practice Curiosity: Next, take a few moments to journal how you are feeling about yourself or the challenge at hand. As you journal, notice & identify any limiting beliefs, feelings or misconceptions you might be operating from.
  3. Assess the Lesson: With the intention to find the gift in the experience you’re having write down your responses to the following questions:
    • What’s working really well about this situation?
    • What’s not working really well?
    • What resources or core values are missing in this situation that would help me work through my feelings or the challenge at hand?
    • What gratitude, wisdom or lessons can I take away as a result of this feeling or experience?
    • What can I do differently to make up for what’s not working?
  4. Forgive Yourself: So what if you’re not perfect! Let me tell you a secret… NO ONE IS. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now. Self-mastery & excellence come about over a period of time & includes a lot of stumbling & bumbling along the way. Being hard on yourself to the point of self-sabotage will prevent you from course-correcting & becoming your very own hero so make amends & set your sights on the steps that will correct what isn’t going well for you. If for some reason you can’t find forgiveness for yourself, you may want to work on healing that wound by learning more about The Journey Method, a cellular memory release process that can help you find the freedom from self-criticism that you desire!
  5. Commit to Improve: With your answers to the above self-assessment & forgiveness in place you now have information about the feelings or challenge at hand that has the power to lead you in a new, more focused direction. At this point is all you have to do is decide to commit to making up for what didn’t work well the next time around.

If you want something to remind you of the resources, gratitude, wisdom, & lessons you’ve identified above, you might also write down a list of affirmations to represent all of the value you’re gaining by going through this experience. This list of affirmations can then serve as a reminder of why you were meant to go through this experience. Simply review them daily & pull these out when you are feeling challenged to remind yourself that every life experience can offer us valuable insight into who we are working to become in our life.

That’s it! Now you have a process to help you end self-criticism & find love within. 🙂

With this process in place in my own life, I’ve learned to transform self-criticism into self-love much faster than when I was younger & I’ll tell you something… it becomes easier & easier to do the more repetitious & consistent I am with this practice!

More importantly, what I’ve noticed is that with this practice in place, I have a much greater capacity for WISDOM, STRENGTH, COURAGE, & LOVE for myself & others than ever before.

And deep down in my heart of hearts, I’ve come to believe that loving & accepting myself (despite my mistakes & flaws) is the true essence of enlightenment & self-actualization!

Are you ready to find love from within? 🙂

Jess Bonasso, otherwise known as The Self Care Goddess, empowers women to break free of the underlying root cause of burnout & breakdown so they can LOVE deeply, THRIVE in life, & SHINE their light without sacrificing their soul, sanity, or health!

Are you ready to become your very own hero?

For more information, click HERE to learn about Jess & to schedule a 30-minute *COMPLIMENTARY* Discovery Consult!

To receive daily inspiration on how to break free from burnout & re-ignite your radiance, be sure to follow me on social media as well! 🙂


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